Thursday, March 27, 2008

Marriage and the Church

I came across an interesting article on tonight about the subject of choosing a spouse (one of seemingly endless articles on relationships, etc.). You can read the article at the following address:

The writer suggests that perhaps Christian women are too picky in what they are looking for in a mate. In her view, a lot of Christian women are so concerned with finding the "man of [their] dreams" that they fail to notice that there are perfectly marriageable men right under their nose.

From my observation, it seems that a lot of Christian women tend toward extremes regarding this issue. Either 1.) They ignore every guy who is not the best catch around (i.e., looks real good and is at least somewhat godly) or 2.) for variable reasons, they are overly aggressive in their overtures. While this certainly doesn't characterize every Christian woman (by any means), I believe that for quite a few, it does. (Note: I also think this problem exists with Christian men.)

I think the solution to the problem is quite simple: walk with the Lord. Both extremes are distasteful, as they are both manifestations of fleshly wisdom rather than spiritual insight. Furthermore, I believe that the truly godly man or woman is a person who does not fear, but instead, trusts in the Lord. Such people will treat all people with love; whether they are rich or poor, beautiful or homely, intelligent or simple, are a fully ripened banana, or, are still a bit green. They won't seek after marriage (except in prayer) and they will treat all people well (which, in so doing, will glorify God).

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love" (1 Cor. 13:13).


At 4:27 PM, Blogger Jennifer said...

Hey, it's Jennie Kenworthy! I'm glad I found your blog. I like this post a lot, and I think it could go either way because in my experience there are lots of single women who would date if the guys would just pursue. I've encountered a lot of guys who seem to think it's more godly not to date, and then the girls get frustrated because they want to marry but they can't make the moves! Of course there are super-picky, aggressive women out there who don't realize they're hurting their chances because no one can live up to their ideals OR because guys are turned off by their forwardness. Such a delicate balance to completely rest in the Lord for his provision in this area without acting cold and closed-off.

At 10:21 PM, Blogger Gabe Garfield said...

Thanks for your comments, Jennie! lol Unfortunately, I only found your post tonight (Aug. 5th)!

I suppose I would say that, in reference to guys who don't pursue, "Are girls sending guys the right signal?" I think some women might be inadvertantly sending the wrong signal to guys they are interested in by coming off as aloof. Guys really don't want to pursue a girl they think will reject them. Granted, some guys are pansies, socially unaware, or both, but you have to give them a fighting chance to know of your interest! lol

But, you're right, Jennie, wisdom is definitely needed to understand how to act in a godly manner with regard to this subject.


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